Life Cycle of bloggers - dedicated to my blogging pals :)

Hey all,
    I found this really witty post named “Lifecycle of Bloggers” in the Min Jung blog. Its a pretty old post (31/5/2005) but then its worth sharing :) Enjoy…

    I dedicate this to all my blogging pals :)

1. Start reading blogs.

You start out as a lurker and by either having met a blogger or run
across an intriguing and challenging post from someone else’s blog, you
start mulling about in your head for either a forum for response,
challenge, or agreement. You could start by commenting on
other folks blogs first, but you start having a gradually increased
desire for a space of your own. Like when you’re living in your
parent’s basement and the rest of your friends are making weekly trips
to Home Depot and using words like “mulching”. You begin to wonder if
you want to belong.

2. You start a blog.

Maybe at first it’s on blogspot or livejournal. You start writing
about cheese sandwiches. You use your full name and the full names of
your friends that are involved in your occasionally mischievous
exploits. These things satisfy you. Hubris starts taking a more
significant part of your site as you develop your tiny homestead
online. The notion of fleshing out your online personality becomes
important.

3. You become a stats whore.

Daily stats/referrals and meme participation for webrings,
quizlists, personality profiles, and the occasional sepia toned webcam
photo to make you look all “emo” and “sultry” and “sensitive” or at
least a little bit thinner. And definitely like a Kpop music video
still image. You voraciously groom your links list as you build a
posse. The wishlist makes it’s initial appearance and creepy strangers
start sending you gifts when your birthday comes around. You consider
this slightly weird, but hey, then again, you did get that Star Wars Box set that you always wanted. You start memes just for the additional traffic. Perhaps you even start a webgame of sorts.

4. You become really personal on your site as the online and real-life worlds start confusing you.

As you recognize the possibility of being an opinion leader in your
personal circle, people flame you. You occasionally flame back. You cry
about comments that certain people make to provoke you. You bitch about
these things as well. Then you take into consideration that comments
were made by pimply 14 year olds who post jpegs of their warcraft
characters online and realize that these lOZeRs aren’t worth your time.
This gives you an sense of superiority. Haha! you say to yourself. I
have a posse and a blog and you don’t. So fuck off, you lame twat.
Hazzah!

5. You faux “retire” from blogging.

Having temporarily exhausted the emotional reservoir from which your
personal blog has sprung forth, you post about retiring. Or a vacation.
Or a hiatus. Or a sabbatical. You say this will be permanent. Or last a
month.

6. You cave back into blogging in less than 72 hours.

You candy pants blogging crack addict.

7. You decide to “get serious” about blogging.

You seek out “The A-List” of bloggers and start reading more of
them, and news about them, and news about blogging in general. You come
to the conclusion that if you ever hope to join their rank, then you
need to at least register your own domain. After all,
http://candypantsnewbiebloggeraboutcheesesandwhiches.blogspot.com will
not get you linked by Kottke.

8. You have a pseudo flirty im/blogging/flickr flirting relationship with another blogger whom you have never met.

This will likely end badly. Very badly.

9. You decide that you must meet other bloggers.

SXSW seems like a good way to go about it. Or attendance at Fray Day.
Or finding any excuse possible to move to San Francisco. At least a
trip, after all. With a visit to SF, meeting other “celebrity” bloggers
is just as tasty a tourist destination as going to Fisherman’s Wharf.
Or more so. Definitely more so. Your blogroll grows threefold.

10. You take a step back and metablog about blogging and what blogging has done about your blogging.

You become pedantically navelgazingly annoying. For some reason,
your blogger readership eats this shit up. This does not convince you,
however, that you want to do something silly like smoke weed with Marc
Canter. Because even you know that’s a bad idea.

11. See step 5.

Shampoo, rinse, repeat.

12. You decide that as a result of step 10 and having
repeated step 5 more than 3 times in the course of your lifecycle as a
blogger, that you need to sanitize or reinvent your blog.

You purge or hide archive entries and take more note to remove full
names of your friends/crushes/accidentaldrunkenfondels from your site
and links list. Your blog goes back to cheese sandwiches. But this time
your site validates.

13. You either lose your job because of blogging, are
afraid of losing your job for blogging, or join a company that builds
blogging tools.

Either way, your blog either dies a horrible painful death, or
becomes significantly less personal to the degree of trite and
uninteresting compartmentalization or subject matter discretion.

14. You decide to start an anonymous livejournal blog.

Here is where you still talk about your crushes, the he said/she
said crap, and that you really really really really really really
really like Maroon 5. And it’s on your wishlist.

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

    Thank you Min Jung!

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March 2, 2007 | Filed Under Humour | Leave a Comment 

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